Don't Deal With The Devil - A Cuphead Boss Reality Show!
by Silver Espeon
Summary: The Devil grows bored and decides to create a reality show starring the debtors that signed his soul contract. Raunchiness, sexual discovery, hi-jinx, and misadventures ensure! Read to find out what happens! (On-going)
1. Chapter 1

Devil: I'm getting bored Dice. What do you suggest we do?

Dice: _*In a feminine voice*_ Ooh I know! We can play a game! How about spin the bottle? Or how about charades?

Devil: Oh come on Dice! We played those games already. And those games usually involve one of us getting kissed. Or gay men.

Dice: Okayyy then. Ooh I got it! How about Depression Bingo?

Devil: Not this again.

Dice: Okay. Do you stay in your room all day?

Devil: Yes.

Dice: Do You lay in bed all day?

Devil: Yes

Dice: Do you binge eat crackers and water?

Devil: Yes.

Dice: Bingo! You have depression! Now come on. Let it all out.

Devil: You idiot! I don't have depression! I've just hit a plateau. I'm the ruler of the underworld! Evil incarnate! Why would I have - * _Breaks down crying and hugs Dice*_ My mom abandoned me at a young age and my dad beat me as a kid! * _Cries out a huge pool of tears*_

Dice: There there. Let it all out. It's okay.

Devil: Ahhh. Now I feel better! And I have the prefect idea! We can make a reality show!

Dice: A reality show?

Devil: Yeah! It'll have the debtors that were stupid enough to hand over their souls to me!

Dice: This sounds interesting. I'm in! But how will we get them?

Devil: I know just how to do it.

 **Cuts to Baroness Von Bon Bon's castle**

* _Bon Bon is crying*_ "Oh I feel so worthless! I got my ass handed to me by two cups! * _stuffs her face with candy canes*_ All I can do is binge eat candy canes and sugary treats! God I need to get out of here! * _a portal sucks her in and teleports her to a house with stairs, brown walls, a television, kitchen, and multiple rooms*_ * _sniffles*_ "Huh? Where am I? What happened to my candy kingdom? Am I lost? Did I get kidnapped? When I said I wanted to get out I didn't actually mean it!" _*she cries and sobs loudly*_

 **Cuts to Beppi's carnival**

 _*A group of skater kids rides by Beppi*_ "Hey clown, I fucked your mom last night! Hahaha!" "Yeah so did you and every other kid on Xbox Live." _*Little girl and her mother walks by*_ "Mommy, the clown is scary." "Oh don't worry Molly. You don't have anything to be scared of. He's just a Ronald McDonald reject. He probably still lives with his parents." "Hey you take that back you whore!" Beppi sighed. "Nobody takes clowns seriously anymore. In the past we were honored for our scariness. My great great grandfather, Beppi Kerfuufle Mcham, was the greatest clown of his time. He scared kids to death and those same kids later came back to get his autograph as an adult. Now it just seems like clowns aren't scary anymore. The presence of clowns in popular media just made them less scary. Being a clown isn't just a something we do. It's a way of life. Clown lives matter."

"Shut up clown!"

"No you shut up!" _*Beppi gets a pie thrown at him and everyone starts laughing*_ "Oh who am I kidding? I'm a failure! I never went to college and dropped out of high school and I get laughed at every day for a living!" _*Beppi starts crying*_ Suddenly, a portal opened up and sucked Beppi in. He was taken to the house.

"Huh? Where am I? What happened to my circus? _*Begins crying more*_ Beppi notices Baroness. "Why are you crying?" He asked. "I got beat by two cups. What about you?" "I'm a failure to my parents!" Beppi and Baroness begin crying in unision and hug each other.

"Hey are you as turned on as I am?" said Beppi. "What did you say? Ugh gross!" "My mistake m'lady. I never introduced myself. My name is Beppi the clown." "So you're a clown. No wonder you're a failure. I'm Baroness Von Bon Bon. But you can just call me Baroness." "Nah. I think I'll call you Bon Bon instead. It sound funner." "Funner isn't a word." "Well it is to me! So you wanna make out later?" "Ugh no! I just met you!"

"Allright." Beppi sighed.

 **Cuts to Djimmi's pyramid**

"All right babe, now I will turn my penis into an elephant trunk." Djimmi cast a spell and an elephant sound was heard from his groin area. Djimmi's wife, Taja, laughed. "You are so silly! Now do it to me!" "Okay. Watch as I magically turn your boobs into an octopus!" Taja's boobs started growing tentacles. "Ooh! It tickles! You are such a good boyfriend Djimmi. I wouldn't trade you for anyone in the world." "Me neither." Djimmi reached in to hug Taja but was suddenly teleported to the house.

"Huh? What happened? Where am I?"

"Oh hey there genie. You too huh?" said Beppi. "Ahh! A clown!" Djimmi hid behind a plant. "Don't worry genie. We won't hurt you. We just got teleported here like you." "Oh so you aren't going to fondle me?" "What? No. That's gross." "Oh thank Allah! My names Djimmi the Great!" "My name's Beppi the Clown! And the candy queen is Baroness Von Bon Bon." "Oh why hello there your majesty." Djimmi bowed. "Oh save it, steroids. I've heard it all before." "But I haven't even said anything yet. And why do you say steroids?" "Because all you genies are the same. A huge outward chest and muscles. Meathead." "Oh you're mistaken candy queen. This huge chest all natural baby. No magic involved."

 **Cuts to Cala Maria in the ocean**

"All right eat up babies! Now who's a good boy?" Cala Maria cooed, feeding her eels. "Walter, stop that! We don't eat dead fish! No treats for you!" "At least it's better than the crap you're feeding us." the eel snapped back. "What?! You ungrateful bastard! Why I oughtta-" Cala Maria was cut off by being sucked into the portal. "Hey guys, she's gone! Let's go attack the Mexicans that always eat us!"

Cala Maria fell flat on her face on the ground. "Woah! What the - what happened to the ocean? My babies - where are they?! And where am I?!" "Join the club mermaid. We all got stuck in here for some unknown reason." said Beppi. "Hey there sexy. My name's Djimmi. And you?" "Ugh. Out of my way jock." Cala pushed Djimmi away. "At least there's another girl in this house. What's your name?" said Baroness Von Bon Bon. "I'm Cala Maria. And you candy queen? Nice hat by the way." "I'm Baroness Von Bon Bon. And thanks." "So where did you come from Cala?" said Beppi.

"I'm from the Atlantic Ocean. I live deep underwater away from land dwellers." "Oh I see. So are humans your mortal enemy?" "Sort of. Pirates have tried to hunt me for money. I'm on a wanted list." "That must suck, being hunted down like that." said Beppi. "You have no idea. By the way, what's your name?" "I'm Beppi. I'm a clown." "Did you graduate college?" "No. Why does everyone assume that?" "Well being a clown isn't the most educated profession in the world. Plus a lot of them are college drop outs. You'd have a better shot having a liberal arts degree."

"Wanna see a magic trick?" said Djimmi. "No thanks, Dumbledore." said Cala. "Look! I'll turn my penis into an eel!" "Please don't." "Abra Kadabra schlongmdong!" Instead of turning into an eel, Djimmi's penis turned into a flattened ballon. "Hahah! You are so lame!" Bon Bon joined in on the laughter.

 **Cut to the Phantom Express with the Blind Specter**

"I want to ride on the train next! Please!" said the Blind Specter. "Specter, you live in here. Plus don't you have errands to run?" said the Phantom Express. "No I don't. See? I ate all my fruits and vegetables and smoked all my crack like a good ghost." "Haha, I dream about killing you. Except you're already dead. What did I do to deserve this?" "You already died and you're in hell."

"Well if it isn't little Specter the gay ghost." said the Blaze Brothers and laughed in unison. "For the last time, I'm not gay!" "Oh yeah? Then explain this!" One of the Blaze Brothers pulled out a rainbow flag. "This was in your room." "Oh come on. My cousin was visiting and I had to show him I was a liberal sjw or he would cut me in pieces!" "We still think you're gay." "Hey T-Bone, help me out here! I'm not gay!"

"Sorry Spector. I can't intervene on these matters. I'm from the 1940s remember? Gay people didn't exist at that time." "Oh that's right. Thanks anyway."

"Hey Specter? Can you deliver this mail for me?" "Sure Phantom." "Oh wait never-mind. I just remembered I can't trust you. You always run off and get lost somewhere. Remember how you used to get lost in the mall as a kid?" "What? You can trust me! Plus that was when I was a kid. I won't get lost, I promise." _*portal appears*_ "Oh hey a portal! Woahhh!" Specter was sucked in.

"What the - where the heck am I?" said Specter. "Well you look different." said Beppi. "It's because I'm a ghost, isn't it? Well I see a clown, a genie, a mermaid, and a candy queen in front of me. So I'd say I wouldn't look too different." "Aren't you technically dead?" asked Cala. "Well yes, technically. And how about you mermaid? I see you're the only one here bare chested." Specter stared at Cala's breasts and groped one of them. "Honk honk." "You pervert!" Cala Maria grew wet. "Ah see! She likes it!" "Ooh keep going!" "Look at me - I'm a sexy boy!" said Specter.

 **To Be continued in the next chapter! In the next chapter - Introducing Cagney Carnation!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Cut to Cagney Carnation in his garden**

"Ahhh. This is such a peaceful day. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. And the garden is healthy." *Cagney whips a Mexican man* "Get back to work Paco, you're break is over!" "Please Mr. Carnation! The sun is so hot and my knees are about to give out!" "It isn't over till I say it's over!" *sighs* "Back to what I was saying. Today's a good day. Didn't Ice Cube say that?" "Oh Cagney, would you mind licking this honey off of my boobs?" said Rumor Honeybottoms, a queen bee. "Got yourself in a sticky situation once again, huh? Oh well, might as well!"

A portal sucked Cagney and Rumor just as Cagney reached in to lick her boobs. "Oh. This is awkward." said Cagney. "Oh don't worry. You can continue." said Djimmi. "Pervert" said Cagney. "Oh look what the cat dragged in" said Beppi. "Thanks Mr. Whiskers. Who's a good girl?" "Well since we're all here, we might as well get to know each other." said Cala Maria.

"Oh okay I'll start off. I'm Baroness Von Bon and I don't support gay rights and jews should be wiped off the face of the earth." "Okayy then..." said Cala Maria. "Well my name is Cala Maria and I live in the ocean. Pirates try to hunt me down and I have 5 million dollar bounty on me." "My name's Beppi the Clown. I'm a high school dropout and I work at the circus for minimum wage." "I'm the Blind Specter and I have eyes on my hand. See?" "I'm Djimmi the great. I'm an ancient Egyptian genie who's lived for 100 million years. Also I was molested by clowns!" "What about you, what's your name bee?" said Bon Bon. "I'm Rumor Honeybottoms. I'm a queen bee." "And is that flower your boyfriend?" said Bon Bon. "What? No! We're just friends!" "Yeah we're just friends." said Cagney. "Rightttt. 'just friends'" said Bon Bon.

"Just know she's all mine." said Cagney, slapping Rumor's butt.

A TV descended down from the ceiling. The TV showed static but a familiar image came on the screen. The Devil. He was on his throne. "All right contestants! You're all here. Welcome to Don't Deal With The Devil - Inkwell Isle's newest reality show!" said the Devil.

"Hey is that the Devil? He owes me big time! I lost to two fragile cup brothers!" said Bon Bon. "Hey he owes me too! Come over here and fight me like a man!" said Djimmi. "Debtors. I'm sure you're mad at me. You have every right to be. That's why I'm offering you the chance to star on my new reality show. The six of you will have to live with each other in this house. People will love it!" The cast began clamoring and yelling over each other.

"What?! We have to live with each other? Unh Uh Uh! I have a home already!" said Rumor. "Exactly! We all have homes to get to." said Specter. "I'm sorry but I am not going to live here! I am royalty! I have a castle to get to!" said Bon Bon.

"You aren't going anywhere! You signed a contract, all of you!" "That's right. He's got us." sighed Beppi. "All right. What's your deal, Devil?" said Rumor. "You will all be in this house and broadcast on live television for my reality show and my own amusement. It's pretty simple really."

"All right then. I guess we're on a reality show now." said Beppi. "At least this is a better gig than exposing myself to children." "So what's in it for us, Devil?" said Cagney.


	3. A note on characters

**Hey guys. Before we continue on with the story, I wanted to give you some clarification on the characters and their role in the story. A lot of them I've taken liberty with so I highly suggest you read this. Much of the characters take on roles you would typically see in reality shows.**

The Devil - He is the host of the show and will make appearances here and there. He is the main antagonist of the story and doesn't differ very much from his game counterpart.

King Dice - The Devil's right hand man. He is suave, cool and smooth but will occasionally act feminine for a joke.

Beppi the Clown - Goofy, non-nonchalant and the jokster of the story. Acts as the leader of the group. Can act stupid sometimes. He is best friends with Djimmi and has a crush on Baroness Von Bon Bon.

Djimmi the Great - An egotistical genie who is full of himself. The jock and bully of the story. Has a one sided romance with Cala Maria.

Cala Maria - The 'popular girl' of the group though she can act nice sometimes. She is best friends with Bon Bon and Rumour Honeybottoms and has a rivalry with Cagney. The two despise each other.

Rumor Honeybottoms - The nice girl of the group. She is nice to everyone which leads to tension with Bon Bon, as she is the mean girl of the group. Rumor and Bon Bon get off to a rough start but later become friends.

Baroness Von Bon Bon - The mean girl of the group. Because she grew up in royalty, so she looks down on everyone below her. She dislikes Beppi but the two later come to mutually respect one another. She also dislikes minorities.

Cagney Carnation - The level headed one of the group. He pretty much dislikes everyone except Rumor and Blind Specter. Has a negative attitude and personality.

Blind Specter - The shy one of the group and the nerd. He is unpopular with the rest of the cast but is friends with Cagney. Djimmi bullies him quite often. He is good friends with Beppi and Rumor.


	4. Chapter 3

"All I'm asking is that you stay on this reality show for 3 seasons. In return, I'll pay you $50 an episode." said the Devil.

Cagney pondered the deal. Everyone stared at him. Cagney was on the hot seat now. "Umm - Um - Allright fine. I accept." Cagney said.

"Great! Welcome to your new home!" In that moment, the cast was in servitude to the Devil. "No! I'm stuck on this horrible reality show and I'm serving the Devil! And it's all because of you, you idiot!" said Bon Bon, crying. Cala Maria went to her side and comforted her.

"You see what you did? Now we have to be on this reality show serving the Devil and it's all because of you. I already served him and I don't want to do it a second time." said Djimmi.

"Hey just be lucky that I saved you from an even worse fate. Who knows what could have happened if I said no." said Cagney.

"Whatever. Just watch yourself." said Djimmi.

*To the interview chair* Cagney: That red pickle is really pissing me off. He's just a jock. I had to deal with assholes like him in high school.

"I'm heading out to the pool. You can join me if you want to." said Beppi to everyone.

"Wait we have a pool? I'm out!" said Cagney.

Baroness continued crying on Cala Maria's shoulder. "There there. It's okay." said Cala Maria. "I don't get it. I lived like royalty. And then all of a sudden I'm thrown into this reality show! It isn't fair!" said Bon Bon, continuing to cry.

"I know it isn't fair. But you can stay with me if you like." said Cala Maria. "Really? I'd love to stay with you. You know, you are such a good friend." said Bon Bon. The two embraced each other and Bon Bon blushed immensely.

Out at the pool, Cagney, Beppi, Djimmi, Specter, and Rumor were all there. "Cannonball!" shouted Beppi. "Hey!" shouted Cagney. He wiped the water off of his face.

"Cmon. The water isn't that cold, Cagney." said Beppi. "It is." said Cagney. "Hey" said Rumor. "Come join us." She motioned toward Cagney.

*Cut to interview chair* Cagney: "I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I actually have a huge crush on Rumor. She's really nice and one of the few friends I have. I've been so nervous to talk to her. To me, it's okay if we're just friends. Just know that she's mine!"

"Hey Rumor. How's it going?" said Cagney. "I'm great. How about you?" "I'm fine. How do you feel about being on this reality show?" "To be honest, I'd much rather be back at my hive." "Well hey at least we're getting paid $50 an episode to be on this show. It isn't all bad." said Specter. "I guess you're right." replied Rumor.

"Hey you know where Cala Maria and the princess went?" asked Djimmi. "No idea. Maybe they're inside." said Beppi. "They were inside the last time I saw them" said Cagney. "I'll be right back" said Rumor. Just as she got up, Bon Bon and Cala Maria entered the pool area.

"Hey everyone. Sorry that we were gone for a while. We were just inside." said Cala Maria. "Oh yeah and what were you two doing?" asked Djimmi. "I want to tell everyone the truth. Me and Cala Maria are more than friends. We're girlfriends!" Beppi spat out water from a drink that somehow came into his hand that he didn't have before. "Hey Bon Bon, I thought you hated - " said Beppi before he was cut off by Bon Bon. "I know what you're thinking Beppi. I used to hate gays before Cala Maria taught me her ways. After a good kissing session, I realized what I was missing out on. It was time that I come true with my feelings. I had always liked girls but my family didn't allow it. Today, however, is the day I come out. It feels so good to be free!"

Baroness Von Bon Bon and Cala Maria then started kissing intensely while Katy Perry's I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It played in the background. Everyone just stared in awe, especially Beppi.

*Cut to interview chair* Beppi: "Oh my God. I never expected Bon Bon to be a lesbo. She was a Christian fundamentalist when I first met her. Well, anything can happen. This sucks though. I actually really liked Bon Bon. I guess she's taken now."

 **Continued in the next chapter!**


	5. Chapter 4

"So how do those hands of yours work?" asked Djimmi to Specter. "Well my eyes are on my hands but I don't need them to see. I don't need eyes to see. I just use them to attack. I can see perfectly fine in case you're wondering." replied Specter. "Well how do your hands feel about this?" Djimmi then forcefully grabbed Specter's hand and put them in a hot chili bowl. "Oww!" screamed Specter. "What the hell, dude?" "Hmm. So I guess ghosts do feel pain." said Djimmi.

"You dick!" said Specter. "I assume yours is pretty small." "That's it!" Specter summoned eyeballs out of his hands to attack Djimmi but Djimmi used his magic to make them bounce off him and the eyeballs came towards Specter. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Urrgh! I'm leaving this place!" Specter left the room into his room. It was blue with posters of ghosts from popular media including the Ghostbusters logo and Boo from Mario.

*To interview chair* Specter: "That genie is such a prick. He puts my hand in burning chili and then he blasts me with my own eyeballs. God I hate him."

Specter was crying quietly to himself while writing in his diary.

*Voice-over* Blind Specter: "Dear diary, I'm in a reality show full of assholes and two lesbos. I just want the pain to end. The only one who's actually worth having around is that sexy bee. Damn she's hot."

Djimmi came into the room. "Hey Specter." "What do you want?" "I just want to apologize for what I did downstairs. I shouldn't have done it. I hope we can be friends now." "Hmm. Sure. We can be friends." Specter and Djimmi shook hands.

"So I want to make it up to you. What do you want to do. Drink? Get some food? You can choose." "Sorry but I don't want to do either. I can't eat or drink because everything goes right through me. See?" Specter then grabbed a cup of water and it simply passed through Specter. Specter then grabbed a bag of chips and gorged it down. It simply passed through him and went on the floor. "Oh." said Djimmi.

"Yeah. But I have an idea! We can go see a movie!" "A movie? What movie do you want to see?" "That new Wonder Comics movie, the Black Specter." "Oh I've heard a lot about that movie. It's the first Wonder Comics movie to feature an African American lead and an all Black cast. Apparently people are shills for the movie and are giving it good reviews just because it has an all black cast. It even has a 100% splatty tomatoes." "This is getting pretty suspicious, Djimmi. I mean people are giving this movie good reviews just because it has an all black cast. We have to see this movie for ourselves to judge it. We'll see if the movie is as good as all the people are making it out to be."

"Alright then. Let's go Specter." Djimmi and Specter then went to the movie theater to see the newest Wonder Comics movie, the Black Specter, part of the Wonder Comics Cinematic Universe.

 **Meanwhile, back at the house with Cagney and Rumor Honeybottoms**

"Hey Cagney wanna play a game?" "Sure Rumor. What do you wanna play?" "Let's play a game of UNO. If you win, you get to do whatever you want with me." Cagney's face lit up. "If you lose, however, you have to be my bondage slave." Cagney's expression changed into one of nervousness after hearing that statement.

*To interview chair* Cagney: "Alright so I have two options. Win to Rumor and I get the best sex in my life." Cagney said seductively. "Or I lose to Rumor and be her BDSM slave. Either way I'm fine but I'd much rather have option 1."

"Alright let's go Rumor! You're on!" "Alright then! Let's go flower boy!" The two set up the UNO cards and started playing. "Do you have a red?" said Rumor. "Yes." said Cagney, begrudgingly. "Do you have a 2?" said Cagney. "Yeah." said Rumor. "You know what would be better? If we played strip poker." said Cagney.

 **Back with Djimmi and Blind Specter**

"Allright let's find our seats." said Djimmi. "There they are!" said Specter. Djimmi and Specter then proceeded to go into their seats. "Alright. Time to see if this movie is as good as people say it is." "I can't wait to prove all those black people wrong." said Djimmi. Suddenly the African Americans in the theater all looked up at Djimmi and Specter. "What did you say nigga?" said a black man. "Oh I'm sorry I was just saying how this Black Specter movie is pandering to black people and minorities and that's the only reason people like it. We're here to see if the movie is actually good." The African Americans rounded up around Djimmi and Specter and beat them up.

Djimmi and Specter were kicked out of the movie theater. They were beaten up and bruised. "Well there goes our movie. Ugh this night was horrible. I just want to go home." said Specter. "It's okay buddy. Screw those guys. We can see Black Specter some other time. How about you and me watch a movie at home. You can choose." said Djimmi. "Thanks Djimmi."

*To interview chair* Blind Specter: "The night was pretty shitty but Djimmi made it up by watching a movie with me. So the night wasn't all bad I guess. Djiimmi wasn't as bad as I thought."

 **Cut to Rumor and Cagney**

"You got a 7?" said Cagney. "Yeah." said Rumor. "You got a red?" said Rumor. "Fuck!" "Ha! You lose flower boy! I win! I win! I win!" Cagney buried his hands in his face. "Fuck me." said Cagney. He sounded muffled.

*To interview chair* Cagney: "Wish me luck viewers. I'm about to get a hardcore pounding from Rumor. This could either be really sexy or it could really painful. At least it's being done by a hot girl."

"Get ready, flower boy. You're all mine. Now get changed." said Rumor Honeybottoms, smirking. Cagney got changed into black underwear and a black choker with spikes. Rumor got changed into a black suit with a black sailor's hat and black gloves. She had a whip in her hand. "Alright Cagney. You ready?" "Yes." "Great. Now dance for me." Rumor sat down on a chair. Cagney then poured water on himself from a bottle while he sobbed. "Alright that's enough. Come over here." Cagney went onto the bed face first. He was whipped by Rumor. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Rumor picked him up and forced him into a dog position. She put a ball in his mouth. It prevented him from talking.

She then began to whip his butt. Cagney's muffled screams could be heard and he started crying. "Stop your crying, you baby. Now say you want me!" She removed the ball from his mouth. "I want you!" "Who do you belong to?" "Rumor Honeybottoms!" "That's a good boy." Rumor ran her hand down Cagney's face. "This is only the beginning, baby." Rumor brought out a paint bucket and put down on Cagney's body. "Oooh." Cagney was actually enjoying it.

 **Continued in the next chapter!**


	6. Chapter 5 (End of first episode)

**Let's see what Baroness Von Bon Bon and Cala Maria are up to, shall we?**

Cala Maria laid down on the bed on her back while Bon Bon put whip cream over Cala's chest. "This is called the Bon Bon special." said Baroness. She put a cherry on top of each of her breasts and sprinkles. "Mmm! This looks yummy!" and Bon Bon put her face over Cala's chest and licked the whip cream clean. "Oooh...mmm...yes." "If you liked that then you'll love this!" Bon Bon took off her dress revealing her breasts. They were perfect. Round and soft and just the right size. "Go ahead. Give them a suck."

Cala sucked on her breasts while Bon Bon moaned in pleasure. "Ooohh yes! Please more!" Cala stopped sucking for a moment to lick the breasts. The tips of Bon's Bon's breasts were now hard and erect. "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! Yes! Yess!" Cala worked her way up from the breasts to her neck and kissed softly and slowly. "Are you enjoying yourself?" Cala asked. "I'm on Cloud 9." Without realizing it, Bon Bon discharged a white fluid that came from her G spot. "Someone's horny." said Cala. Bon Bon had no words; she simply moaned in pleasure.

 **We now return to Cagney and Rumor's messed up BDSM relationship**

Cagney was confined to the wall with handcuffs while Rumor smacked his (non-existent) ass with a paddle you use for rowing. "Oh! Ow! Ah!" Cagney was then tied up to the bed and Rumor let off her bees on him. His screams of agony could be heard. Leeches were poured on him and then mosquitoes. By the end of the ordeal he was covered in head to toe with red itchy spots. "I'm so fucking itchy!" he screamed. "Don't worry. I have just the solution." said Rumor. She then let out a spike cylinder from the ceiling and he was rolled until he was as flat as a paper.

Rumor poured cold ice cream on him and she sat on top of him while she licked it off him with a spoon. "How you feeling?" she asked. "I could be better." "Did you learn your lesson?" "I lost to you in an UNO game. What lesson was there to be learned?" "I checked on your Facebook and Google+ profiles. You've made posts on both accounts about how you wanted a BDSM relationship." "Oh right. I did. But I never said I wanted one. I just said it would be interesting to be in one." "Well you got your answer. Honesty this was a fun experience. I actually liked it." "Yeah because you were the dominator." "Maybe next time I'll let you be the dominator." "I like that idea."

 **Picking up where we last left off with Blind Specter and Djimmi...**

A montage of moments are shown where Blind Specter and Djimmi are crying and laughing at movies. "This was such a good experience. We laughed. We cried. And everything in between. This was a good night." "It sure was buddy."

*To interview chair* Specter: "So I guess I was wrong about Djimmi. At first I thought he was just a jock and a bully but he's actually a good guy."

Cagney and Rumor enter the room. "Hey guys. What are you two up to?" said Cagney. "Just watching movies. How about you two?" said Specter. "Let's just say there was a lot of roughhousing involved. And a lot of mayo. And whips." "Looks like Cagney likes to be dominated." teased Djimmi. "What?! I don't like to be dominated! I am a strong independent man who don't need no woman! Hey can you whip me?" "Gladly." said Rumor.

*To interview chair* Rumor: "I actually really like having Cagney as my domination slave. He's such a weak skinny guy who can't defend himself and I love guys like that. I don't really like guys who think with their penis. Are you listening Djimmi?"

"Hey has anyone seen Beppi?" said Djimmi. Beppi appeared out o the corner of the wall. "Suck a cock!" said Beppi in a singing voice. "Ahh. Classic Beppi." said Djimmi.

The TV in the room cut to static before the Devil appeared on the TV. "Hello contestants! How was your first day on set?" "I became a bondage slave so I guess that's pretty eventful." "That's good to hear Cagney." "And me and Specter watched movies!" said Djimmi. "I hope you all had a good time. Has anyone seen Baroness Von Bon Bon and Cala Maria?" "I think they're in that room." and Cagney pointed to a pink door. Out came Cala Maria carrying Bon Bon bridal style.

"Hey guys. Sorry that I haven't been out for a while. Me and Bon Bon were having some fun time." "And what happened to Bon Bon?" inquired Specter. "Oh she passed out. She's so cute when she's asleep." and Cala nuzzled her face against Bon Bon's. "Wait. Did you say _passed out_?" said Cagney. "Yeah." "Okay what could have possibly happened for her to **_pass out?_** " "Sex and cuddling. And lots of sex." "Oh that's right. You two were lesbos."

 **End of the first episode! Hope you guys enjoyed and stay tuned for more episodes! Please review. I'd love to hear your feedback, good or bad! Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 6 (The Hot Teacher Comes Around)

**Episode 2 - The Hot Teacher Comes Around**

Plot: Cagney bumps into his teacher from high school while at the store and she attempts to seduce him. Meanwhile, Beppi, Cala Maria, and Baroness Von Bon Bon start an unsuccessful campaign to save the squirrels.

Beppi is outside on a chair feeding seeds to pigeons. "Hey birdies! Want some food?" "Oh Beppi! What are you doing playing with those filthy animals?!" said Bon Bon. She stomped on all the pigeons and blood splattered everywhere, including Beppi and herself. "There. Those filthy animals won't bother us anymore." "Bon Bon! Are you crazy?! Those pigeons weren't dirty animals. They aren't bugs. They're harmless creatures." "Beppi, all animals are filthy. They're uncivilized. That's why they live outside. They're dirty and do their business everywhere. Do you see now?"

"Bon Bon, I love animals. I worked with them in the circus all the time. You don't understand animals like I do. They're just living they're life like you and me. They can be cute and cuddly *Beppi picks up a puppy* and they can even be your best friend. See?"  
"Bon Bon shrieked. "Get that dirty animal away from me!" She knocked the puppy out of Beppi's hand and it went flying. Beppi screa"med. "You whore! That was an innocent puppy!" "That was a dirty filthy animal! It deserved that!" "You monster! I'll show you that animals deserve love! They aren't dirty!" and Beppi went off running after the puppy. Bon Bon sighed. "Beppi you'll never learn."

*Cut to interview chair* Bon Bon: "No one agrees with me that animals are dirty and filthy and don't deserve to be on this planet. I guess I can be a little loving to animals." Bon Bon picked up a turtle. "Aww well aren't you a cute little fella?" Bon Bon smashed the turtle on the ground and stomped on it, blood splattering everywhere.

 **Cut to Cagney and Specter**

"And so I tell her 'he's currently letting one out'. She doesn't catch on so I give her another hint. I say 'he's chocking the chicken.' She still doesn't catch on so I just say 'he's masturbating.' You won't believe the look on her face! She was so disgusted!" Cagney and Specter burst out laughing. "Oh man that is golden!" Djimmi came into the room. "You know back in my college days, I picked up a few dumb blonde chicks. It was worth it though." and Djimmi made a humping motion. "I'm sure you did, Alpha Genie." said Cagney. "I'm serious! I was the top frat boy at my college. I was in bed with chicks every other week."

*Cut to interview chair* Cagney: "Djimmi was here boasting about being a pimp. Little does he know is that I had a hot teacher back in college and was engaged with her."

"Well Djimmi I had a hot teacher back in college and we had some fun time." said Cagney, snickering. "Really now? Well did you get it on?" "Heck yeah I did." "Well then I applaud you, my flower friend. But I can't trust you unless you show her to me." "Djimmi, I graduated college three years ago. I can't get her now." "Well then if that's the case, I can't trust you. Until you prove her to me, I will see you as a flower virgin." "Urgh! I'll prove her to you! You'll see!"

*Cut to interview chair* Cagney: "Damn it! I did have a relationship with my teacher! I'll prove it to that red pickle!"

 **Cut to Beppi**

"Hey there puppy." Beppi petted a blonde haired puppy and felt its soft fur. "I'll show Bon Bon that animals aren't filthy. You deserve to live with us." He petted the chin of the puppy. Bon Bon came in. "Beppi! What are you doing with that filthy animal?!" "Bon Bon! You won't take my puppy away from me!" "You get away from that dog right now!" "No! I love animals!" "Give me that dog!" Bon Bon and Beppi played tug of war with the puppy until it literally ripped apart. "You whore! You killed him!" yelled Beppi. He cried hysterically. "There. The deed is done. There will be no more filthy animals in my house."

Cala Maria came in the room. "What is going on you two? I'm practicing my breathing exercises! Oh what happened to this little fellow?" and she picked up the dead puppy. "Bon Bon killed her! It's all her fault!" Beppi held on to Cala Maria's tentacles. (A/N: My headcanon for Cala Maria is that when she's on land, she has tentacles for legs.) "Aww Beppi. There there." Cala Maria said. She caressed his back. "Bon Bon! Why would you do this to poor Beppi?! You traumatized him!" "Animals are filthy disgusting creatures! I don't want to be near them!" "You can keep that to yourself! You don't have to impose your beliefs on Beppi! I can't believe you!"

Suddenly, a baby octopus came out. It was one of Cala Maria's pets. "Oh hey there, little one." She picked the octopus up and held it up to Bon Bon. "See? There's nothing to be scared of." Bon Bon shrieked. "Ahh! It's so gross and slimy! Get it away!" Cala didn't back down. The slimy tentacles inched closer to Bon Bon's face. Bon Bon winced as the octopus came closer in her vicinity. Eventually the octopus landed on her hands. Bon Bon was breathing heavily the entire time. "See? It isn't so bad." said Cala Maria.

Bon Bon felt the slimy octopus tentacles on her face and hands. Suddenly it wasn't so bad. She felt affection for the baby octopus because of how cute it was. She realized how Beppi felt when he was with puppies. In that moment, Bon Bon realized she loved animals. "Aw. It's actually pretty cute. It isn't so bad." Bon Bon held the baby octopus in the palm of her hand. "I take back everything I said Beppi. I love animals. Look at this baby octopus! It's so cute!"

Beppi wiped the tears from his eyes. "See Bon Bon? I told you that animals are just innocent creatures that don't deserve harm." "You're right Beppi." Bon Bon stood up straight in horror. "Oh no Beppi! I just realized what I did wrong! I've abused animals all my life and of the animal species that I've abused all my life is endangered! They're all going to die!" "Wait what? What animal species?" "The brown striped squirrel. I've tortured them for years to build my castle. Their numbers are dropping and it's all because of me. You have to help me save them." "Don't worry. I'll help you save them we just need to let other people know about our cause. Just two of us won't be enouhg to save the brown striped squirrel from endangered species status. Cala, will you help us to save the brown striped squirrel from becoming extinct?"

"Of course I will Beppi. After all, I love animals. Isn't that right little one?" Cala Maria cooed to the baby octopus. "Great! With the three of us working together we can save the brown striped squirrel from going dead! Whee!" said Beppi. "Now help me make picket signs."

 **Cut to Cagney**

*Cut to interview chair* Cagney: "Finding Ms. Bradshaw proved to be a difficult task, so I had to look everywhere I possibly could."

Cagney went to the park to search for Ms. Bradshaw. "Hello? Ms. Bradshaw? Has anyone seen my teacher?" A woman approached Cagney. "Hello there. Are you lost? Do you need any help?" "Yes I do and I require your child." Cagney took the infant from the woman's hands and said "Do you know where Ms. Bradshaw is? Come on I know you know where she is!" "Hey stop that or I'm reporting you to the police!" said the woman. "Alright fine. Don't help me. But we'll see who come begging for help, Liz!"

Cagney then went to the library. "Hey have you seen Ms. Bradshaw?" "Sir I think you may be in the wrong place." said the female librarian. "Me in the wrong place? You don't know anything about Ms. Bradshaw. You apologize to her!" "Security!" Security officers came in on the scene. "No need to worry. I'll be taking myself out."

Cagney then went to a hospital room with newborn babies. "Ms. Bradshaw? Are you here? Can you please stop hiding?" Cagney inspected all of the containers of the newborn babies. "I got it! Ms. Bradshaw transformed herself into a baby and was waiting this entire time for me to find her. The gig's up Ms. Bradshaw. You can give up now. I found you."

"Oh my God! What are you doing?!" screamed a female nurse. "Listen lady, this isn't your problem. I just found my long lost teacher. Now why don't you go back delivering babies or something?" "Let go right now or I'll taze you!" "You can try all you want but you won't break the bond between me and Ms - " and Cagney was tazed and knocked out.

Inside a grocery store, Cagney was visibly depressed. His head was down and he simply shuffled around. "Oh great. Now I'll never find Ms. Bradshaw. And I'll never prove to Djimmi that I had a hot teacher. This is horrible." Cagney bumped into a woman with a propeller for a hat and a red dress and red shoes. Her hair was jet black. "Hey I'm sorry-" said the woman. "No I'm sorry. I was being clumsy. Here you dropped this." Cagney handed the woman a bottle of lotion. Cagney looked at the woman for a good while before realizing who she was. It was...Hild Berg?!

"Wait. Hilda?" "Cagney? It is you! How are you doing?" "I'm doing great. How about you?" "I could be better but this just made my day. What have you been up to?" "Oh well I'm just living the broke college life, working 9-5." Cagney lied. "Oh that sucks. But trust me it'll get better." "So you wanna come over to my place? We can talk more." said Cagney. Hilda looked at him. "I don't know..."

What will Hilda do? Will she accept Cagney's proposal? Or will she reject him? Or will something else happen entirely? Leave a review and write what you think will happen.


End file.
